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Design Intent: Meeting the Parents

Updated: Jul 15, 2018

So it's been a couple months, several dates, and countless tender moments later. Perhaps you're relationship is growing serious. Sure enough it becomes serious enough that she asks that you meet her parents...

So another design intent is born. You've already impressed her with your stylistic range and surprised her with your finesse. This should not be devalued, though meeting her parents is the big leagues, gentlemen. To begin, let's break down the parameters here; confidence, stability, and responsibility. Each parameter is undoubtedly something a parent would want for their little girl. Now, how to express each in an intentional and appropriate way?Let's start with responsibility. Gentlemen, this is a perfect opportunity to show off your favorite wristwatch, immediately it will convey that you are a punctual person. Furthermore, wearing a watch will show that you value your time, and coupled with a well spoken description of all your accolades they will see that you use it well. Overall, demonstrating responsibility should be the easiest of the design parameters on the list as it is primarily accomplished through your actions (her description of your actions rather). Note: any effort put towards conveying responsibility will be undermined if you show up late to this first meeting, so be sure to arrive five minutes early!

Next, to convey stability. Though many think of stability as something also closely related to just actions it becomes manifest in the tolerancing, dimensioning, and preventative maintenance of one's outfit. That's right gentlemen, stability correlates directly to wardrobe fabrication. Regardless of the setting of this first meeting, going into it with a wrinkle-free, tailored, and well-toleranced outfit will immediately show that you are a stable person. Each topic is too extensive to elaborate on within this post, lucky for you my wardrobe fabrication series will facilitate all your learning. Nailing two of three of these is not good enough, stability is derived of a foundation. The foundation is fabricated slowly, and with care; just as a relationship is.

So you've got the outfit, the talking points, and her support. This last design parameter will make or break you, gentlemen. As mentioned all throughout this blog, the clothes you wear do not define who you are, how you wear these clothes and how you conduct yourself is what defines you. One's outfit selection should help you feel confident, and with a well built wardrobe this should be the easiest part. Making certain you carry yourself with confidence during this meeting is all it boils down to. Confidence in your worthiness of the beautiful woman next to you translates to a strong handshake, good posture, observation of basic etiquette, and your ability to hold a conversation. My own journey to becoming better at first impressions began with Antonio at Real Men Real Style. The linked videos are just the tip of the iceberg and all that can hone your ability to give a good first impression is practice, thus before meeting her parents you should do just that. Opportunities to practice are everywhere, make conversation with the barista you see in the morning, or a colleague at work you aren't familiar with the week before you're to meet her parents. After practicing all week you will be at ease and thus convey the final design parameter, confidence.

Gentlemen, congratulations on reaching this point, you now have all the tools you need to meet your design intent. Having her parent's support is the gateway to a deeper relationship, and the future you imagined when you first asked her out; enjoy these moments.

-The Engineer